You Might Be A Suburban Mom If…

Posted on 29. Oct, 2014 by in Uncategorized

These are very funny and ironically very true!!

1. Your full-time job is unpaid volunteer at your children’s school.

My response: Yes for over 5 years.

2. You’ve taken a crossfit, barre, hot yoga, pole dancing, kettlebell, or aqua zumba class.

My response: Yes, and Caveman, TRX, Bosu, Pound and….

3. You’ve ever adopted a vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, or paleo diet — and it had nothing to do with allergies.

My response: Yes, strictly for research. :-)

4. The people who work at the checkout at Target know your cycle.

My response: Luckily, NO!

5. You think yoga pants can be worn anywhere — including formal events.

My response: They can’t??

6. You pay hundreds of dollars a week to attend music, art, and gym classes to “socialize” your newborn baby.

My response: Only with the first born, but Mommy/Baby massage class was the winner for waste of time and money!

7. You have a chandelier in your laundry room.

My response: Nope.

8. You have a home-based sales business where you sell makeup, cooking utensils, pre-packaged food, sex toys, or handbags out of the trunk of your minivan.

My response: Ironically,  nope. However, I have been to everyone of these types of parties, numerous times.

9. You go to the gym and put your kid in the childcare while you drink coffee and check your email in the cafe.

My response: Nope, basically becuase the gym didn’t have a cafe when my kids were in daycare.

10. You ever used a Groupon for vagazzling, eyelash extensions, or Botox.

My response: I invoke the 5th Amendment.

11. Your eight-year-old is a “competitive” athlete.

My response: Nope, but my 10 yrs old and 11 yrs old ARE!!!

12. You buy wine and organic produce in bulk.

My response: Is that bad?

13. You have a blog.

My response: HEELLOOO!!

Thanks Scary Mommy, you always put a smile on my face!!

- See more at: http://www.scarymommy.com/a-suburban-mom/#sthash.AUVF574I.dpuf

 

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